He likes going out, partying late into the night, dancing around, moving out. I've never been to a proper party, never drank beer or taken a drug dose.
He likes girls who wear make-up and tight tops. I've never gone farther than the moisturizer and talcum (I wore eyeliner and nailpaint the other day to impress him).
He likes to read travel blogs and writes about facts. I like to read Percy Jackson and Harry Potter, and write about sappy teenage issues.
He likes to work out. I'm averse to any kind of exhaustive physical activity.
He hates clicking random selfies or faking smiles. I keep clicking pictures of everything I love, and my days revolve around fake smiles.
He demands perfection, he wishes to be a God. I rejoice in my flaws, glad to be his mortal devotee.
He cannot be tied down to a single person or place, he demands to be free. If I willed, I can forever pledge my heart to one person for the rest of my life and live in, what others would call it, a golden cage.
He is all brains. I am all heart.
How could I ever expect it to work? What was I even thinking? It was a pair that wasn't compatible on any level. Then why do I feel so distressed?
My best friend, the one person who knows me, understands me, better than I do myself, told me:
"You're scared, it's natural. Your relationship with him was what finally saved you from the hell you were in. And you were really really happy dating him, because apart from giving you a safe haven, he was also a pretty great guy. Of course you're too messed up, you just broke up with a guy who you thought could give you a lot more. It was bound to leave you messed up, Riya."
He's right. I found solace in our differences. The gaps that were there, taught me a lot of things. The relationship wasn't exactly a smooth one. There were so many things that I wanted to fight about, but his laid-back attitude always reminded me of my pride, and I kept my outbursts to myself. Eventually, I learnt to cut him some slack, without going through an internal conflict every single time. I realized our differences, got out of my comfort zone, and learnt to embrace them. I understood two beautiful virtues through this relationship, patience and flexibility. And even though I'll miss the few beautiful memories we made and the times I used to take pride in associating myself with him, I'm bracing myself to grow out of this pain, and accepting with dignity the one universal aspect he valued so much.
Change.
He likes girls who wear make-up and tight tops. I've never gone farther than the moisturizer and talcum (I wore eyeliner and nailpaint the other day to impress him).
He likes to read travel blogs and writes about facts. I like to read Percy Jackson and Harry Potter, and write about sappy teenage issues.
He likes to work out. I'm averse to any kind of exhaustive physical activity.
He hates clicking random selfies or faking smiles. I keep clicking pictures of everything I love, and my days revolve around fake smiles.
He demands perfection, he wishes to be a God. I rejoice in my flaws, glad to be his mortal devotee.
He cannot be tied down to a single person or place, he demands to be free. If I willed, I can forever pledge my heart to one person for the rest of my life and live in, what others would call it, a golden cage.
He is all brains. I am all heart.
How could I ever expect it to work? What was I even thinking? It was a pair that wasn't compatible on any level. Then why do I feel so distressed?
My best friend, the one person who knows me, understands me, better than I do myself, told me:
"You're scared, it's natural. Your relationship with him was what finally saved you from the hell you were in. And you were really really happy dating him, because apart from giving you a safe haven, he was also a pretty great guy. Of course you're too messed up, you just broke up with a guy who you thought could give you a lot more. It was bound to leave you messed up, Riya."
He's right. I found solace in our differences. The gaps that were there, taught me a lot of things. The relationship wasn't exactly a smooth one. There were so many things that I wanted to fight about, but his laid-back attitude always reminded me of my pride, and I kept my outbursts to myself. Eventually, I learnt to cut him some slack, without going through an internal conflict every single time. I realized our differences, got out of my comfort zone, and learnt to embrace them. I understood two beautiful virtues through this relationship, patience and flexibility. And even though I'll miss the few beautiful memories we made and the times I used to take pride in associating myself with him, I'm bracing myself to grow out of this pain, and accepting with dignity the one universal aspect he valued so much.
Change.
